Climate Alarmists Sink to Comedic Low Explaining Historic Cold
Confronted with the embarrassment of historic cold gripping the nation just as the Obama administration launches a new offensive on the mythical global warming crisis, global warming activists and their media allies just invented their most knee-slapping assertion yet; that global warming causes winter cold outbreaks.
Global warming activists, after giving us about 48 hours of silence after the cold temperatures hit while they scrambled to come up with an explanation, now say they have always predicted global warming would cause more frequent and severe winter cold spells.
From Silence to Propaganda Offensive
For about 24 hours after the cold temperatures descended, the alarmists were enforcing radio silence on global warming. Then, when the jokes were too widespread to ignore, they spent the next 24 hours telling us occasional cold outbreaks are still “consistent” with a rapidly warming planet. Another 24 hours later, they adopted the “we predicted this all along” meme.
Here are some of the latest headlines along that narrative:
“How frigid ‘polar vortex’ could be result of global warming” – Christian Science Monitor
“Polar Vortex: Climate Change Could Be the Cause of Record Cold” – Time
“US polar vortex may be example of global warming” – The Guardian
“Thank Global Warming for Freezing You Right Now” – The Daily Beast
“Cold as Hell: The Chilling Effect of Global Warming” – Huffington Post
The Latest Fad Excuse
What is really interesting in these and most of the other media accounts on the cold outbreak is they address the topic as if it were long-settled science that global warming causes more frequent and severe winter cold outbreaks. In other words, “It is really, really, really cold throughout the nation, global warming causes everything that people might think is bad, so global warming must cause cold temperatures. Now let’s quickly invent some scientific-sounding mumbo-jumbo explanation for how that might be the case.”
The latest explanation/mythical creature creation is a mutant polar vortex; first cousin of Bigfoot, the Abominable Snowman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the Loch Ness Monster. (By the way, global warming alarmists, are Bigfoot and the Abominable Snowman the same? You would know better than I….)
Oh, and for kicks and giggles, check out in the Internet Info at the end of this article how global warming alarmists and their media allies blame global warming for a future UFO invasion.
According to this newest global warming fad, global warming allegedly causes a weakening of Arctic air currents that keep cold air trapped in the far north. As a result, cold Arctic air can now break out and savage previously warm climates like a crazed zombie apocalypse.
IPCC Says the Opposite
Of course, if global warming alarmists really had predicted global warming would cause more frequent and severe cold outbreaks (via Mutant Polar Vortexes, Yetis, or whatever), we would see such predictions throughout the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) reports. The problem is, they’re not there. Nowhere. Nada. Nunca. Nein. Nyet.
Here is what IPCC has to say on the topic of global warming and winter cold outbreaks: In IPCC’s Working Group II: Impacts, Adaptation and Vulnerability, we are told there will be “warmer winters and fewer cold spells, because of climate change.”
This is the IPCC. The alarmists constantly preach that IPCC is the unified position—the settled science—of nearly all the world’s climate scientists. And IPCC says exactly the opposite of what global warming alarmists now tell us they “always predicted” about global warming and winter cold outbreaks.
‘See, I Told You It Was Green!’
So we have global warming alarmists consistently telling us global warming will mean an end to winter cold outbreaks. Then, when we have severe winter cold outbreaks, the alarmists say it is caused by global warming and they predicted it all along. It is like in the movie A Christmas Story when Ralphie’s father repeatedly claims the green string of Christmas tree lights blew out, but then changes his story after he has been proven wrong:
Ralphie’s Father: “The green string is out!”
Ralphie’s Mother: “No, the green is on. It's the blue that's out.
Ralphie’s Father: “Don't tell me what color it is. I'm not color blind.”
Ralphie’s Mother: “I'm not color blind, either.”
(After replacing one of the light bulbs, the blue string of lights comes back to life.)
Ralphie’s Father: “See, I told you it was green!”
Now, from “A Global Warming Story:”
Ralphie’s Father: “Global warming is causing fewer severe cold spells!”
Ralphie’s Mother: “I haven’t noticed fewer cold spells.”
Ralphie’s Father: “Don't tell me about what global warming does and doesn’t do. I’m not ignorant.”
Ralphie’s Mother: “I'm not ignorant, either.”
(A severe cold spell moves in, savaging the nation.)
Ralphie’s Father: “See, I told you global warming causes more severe cold spells!”
Somebody please tell the global warming alarmists to hole up in a room somewhere, debate each other about whether global warming causes more frequent or less frequent severe cold spells, and then let us know when they have a consistent answer. In the meantime, the rest of us will wait up for Sasquatch, the Abominable Snowman, and the global warming-induced UFO invasion.
James M. Taylor (firstname.lastname@example.org) is managing editor of Environment & Climate News. This article first appeared at Forbes.com and is reprinted with permission.
“Global Warming Blamed for Future UFO Attacks,” Environment & Climate News, Aug. 19, 2011, http://news.heartland.org/newspaper-article/2011/08/19/global-warming-blamed-future-ufo-attacks
“Working Group II: Impacts, Adaptation, and Vulnerability,” IPCC, http://www.ipcc.ch/ipccreports/tar/wg2/index.php?idp=674